Wednesday, August 7, 2013

Summertime loathing.

It's been a while, and I am sure you are all dying to know what wild and exciting things are going on in my life this summer!
Well, I'll tell ya something, there is nothing, not a thing because....
 I. Hate. Summer.
There, it's out there now. The season so beloved by people of all ages is detested by me.
"Why Corinne, how can you hate summertime??" you might ask.
Well, I'll tell ya
1. It's hot (Southeast Texas heat ya'll)
2. It's humid.
3. It takes forever.
4. It's HOT.
5. The kids are out of school and walk around town like they own the dang place.
6. IT'S HOT GUYS!
7. Bathing suits.
8. Shorts that aren't but I have to wear them anyways.
9. The sorry excuses for shorts that teenage girls wear.
10. Having to wear my hair in a ponytail all the time to keep it up so I don't suffocate under the weight of my own tresses.
11. OMG this sticky, humid heat is UNBEARABLE!!!

Living in southeast Texas for me is an exercise in yearly torture endurance. I mean, I didn't mind summertime when I was a kid, in fact I kind of liked it. The difference is that when I was a kid I was living in places like Virginia  or California or even Memphis Tennessee, all of which have hot summers but not the blinding, sun-fed sauna the likes of which I currently reside in.
I think the biggest problem for me is the time frame. Most NORMAL places have a standard four season set up:
                      Spring = 3 months
                   Summer = 3 months
                     Autumn = 3 months
                      Winter = 3 months

That's fine, in fact I'd LOVE it if it would be that. But no. It isn't.
In my reality it's more like this:
Spring = 2 months
Summer = 5-6 months
Late summer/"Autumn" = 3-4 months
Winter-ish = approx. 15 days
Waiting out the summer months is simply awful. When it starts feeling like summer in early May, I am over it all by the end of June. 
We are now at the beginning of August, which in Texas terms is the worst month in terms of the unbearable heat and sticky humidity. When I  break a sweat walking from my car the the entrance of Target, I'm done. When I have to do that almost suffocating thing in my 125 degree car while I'm waiting for the A/C to do it's thing, I'm done. I am unequivocally DONE with summer. I'm over it. Finished.
Come on October!!!