Confessions of a Mormon Barista.: November 2013

I try not to write unless I feel like it is something at least moderately interesting, but I also try to keep my readers "updated"on what trivial things are going on with me since I am pretty sure that the majority of my 4 followers are only doing so because they are related to me and feel begrudgingly obligated (Hi Mom!)
As a result, today you are left with a veritable 'halloween candy style' assortment of 'fun size' subjects all fit into one post!

On: Being a Human Incubator (pregnant)
So my last post was almost two months ago (I know, I know I am getting LAAAAAZZZZZYYYY) and it seems appropriate to update on that business.
I've done the 'pregnant' thing before twice already. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to say that it isn't worth it or anything, but there is something very different about being pregnant for the first time, and subsequent pregnancies. The first time is always sort of special and exciting, despite mostly feeling weird and gross. For me the first pregnancy was like, "Oh man will I ever stop feeling dizzy and queasy and exhausted? But hey there is a PERSON growing inside of me!! And will food stop sounding like death...WAIT I need a chili dog RIGHT NOW....nope it passed you can eat it....but go do it in the other room the smell is making me gag....Oh HEY I totally can feel my uterus now....my baby is GROWING! Wait, WHO is the invisible person stabbing me in the lower back with invisible steak knives?? BABY!!!" etc, etc... Despite all the discomfort, the novelty won out.
The second pregnancy was a little different, but just in that the nausea part was actually worse. I guess I am lucky that I didn't spend a whole lot of time throwing up (very little actually) but I FELT like it most of the time, leading me to seek out a remedy and learning that a unisom combined with a vitamin b6 at bedtime kept it under control.
This time I feel more like, "yeah I am all for a new baby, but is it really necessary to feel gross like this EVERY day? OMG Andy and Aubrey stop doing EVERYTHING and sit still for a few hours! LETHARGY!!!!! Ugh, Oh yeah I remember now, my hips and sciatic nerve hate it when my uterus does it's job.... Crap....I've gotta pee again, YES again!...Wait for me guys, the 'waddle' has nothing to do with my growing fatness, my hips are falling off!.... Jeez, this is not a comfortable way to live...I need some chocolate."

Also, after nearly three years of spending lots of time getting into, and keeping myself in decent shape, I get to watch myself get fatter again....fun.

Excuse my expression. Trying on clothes does not bring out the best in me just now...

.....Except when I am pretending not to be fat. Ha! J/K.....still getting fatter.

One positive thing to come out of all of the yucky weight gain, (you know, other than the cute, new baby I get at the end of it) is that my boobs are looking AMAZING these days.

On: Part Time Single Momming.
When you are married to a pilot, you accustom yourself to being left for periods of time while said pilot goes out on trips. I have been doing that quite a bit this year. (It's the primary reason I quit waitressing) Its really okay because I know that Rob is happy pursuing his career of choice. I also get to have several days at a time with him once he gets home which I really try not to take for granted, because it is awesome to have him home with me, and also, he does the dishes when he is home.
However, when Rob does have to leave for days at a time, it leaves me spending the majority of my time with two very small (albeit adorable) people as my primary companions. For me, this means questions All. Day. Long.

Some are reasonable: "Mommy, where is daddy?", "Mommy, can I have a go-gurt?", "Mommy, what day is it today?", "Mommy, can we watch 'Wreck it Ralph'?" "Mommy, where is the baby now?" I like those questions, easy to answer and send them back to whatever they were doing.

Some are a little more complicated: "Mommy, how big is the baby now?", "Mommy, What color happens if I mix orange with purple?" "Mommy, how is the baby going to get out?" "Mommy we don't want to sleep in our beds, can we 'snuggle' with you?" "Mommy, what means 'ridiculous'?"

Some, I am convinced, are concocted simply to annoy me and test my meager, pregnant, patience: "Mommy, what means 'not right now'?", "Mommy, what is a *unintelligible string of consonants resulting in some made up word*?", "Mommy, do you wanna hear a funny joke??" (this is usually followed up by a ridiculous knock knock joke that involves a 'banana door'.)

I mean, it IS a pretty good life with these two.

On: Home school and Halloween.

For many years I have known that I was going to home school my kids. I'm not going to go into all my reasoning behind it, that is a blog post in itself! Fact is, Andrew is Kindergarten aged this year so it was time to get started. I am lucky that I have my mom (who has been homeschooling for 23 years) as a resource, or I may not have gone through with it!
It has been super fun watching him learn and seeing what he already knows (and I therefore don't have to teach him)
Also, I so enjoy cutting and pasting....

Andy told me when we made these that mine was, "Not very good"
...he even wrote a big X on the lower corner later that day.

Halloween this year was a source of enjoyment for all of us as well this year. Back at the beginning of the year when we bought the kids the movie "Wreck it Ralph" Andrew decided right away that he WAS in fact "Fix it Felix Jr." and insisted that we address him as such for a while. It just worked out that Aubrey is comparatively the proper size to be Vanellope, so he decided that is who SHE was. Of course that left his daddy to be the 'giant' Ralph. Back in about August we decided that we absolutely must be the characters from Wreck it Ralph for halloween this year! We had always talked about doing a "family group theme" costume. The only problem at this point was what my costume would be. I HAD initially considered dressing as Calhoun, but the idea of a fitted, armoured bodysuit, on my burgeoning midsection, was laughable at best.

I decided to do something simple and not as "costume-y" so the attention wouldn't be drawn to my more or less frumpy frame just now. Then I had to go find costumes for my kids. Starting in right after the "back to school" things are pulled from the shelves, the stores start setting up the "seasonal" sections that include Halloween decor and cheaply made, pre-packaged costumes and masks. You see lots of Super Mario's, Disney Princesses and whatever Marvel superhero is most recently seen in theaters. (I guess this year's favorites were iron man and thor.) Also there are usually a fair amount of animated character costumes from the past year represented. You wanna know which kids movie was NOT represented in pre-made costumes this year, AT ALL!?!? Wreck it Ralph!! Not a SINGLE item that could at ALL be used as a character costume from that movie! I had to start from scratch. I searched through multiple goodwill stores, Wal mart, Target and a Michaels craft store to get all the elements for all the costumes I ended up putting together, which included a zombie wig that I had to spray red for 'Ralph's' hair, white tights that I hand painted to look correct for Vanellope, the "cookie Medal" for Ralph, the 'FF' logo for Felix's hat, a little tool belt, and gold spray paint for Felix's magic hammer.