Maternal Musings.

Mothers day. It's approaching. Stores have the big cardboard displays of quaint mothers day cards, and plastic wrapped bouquets of brightly colored daisies. Mothers day is one of those days that means a lot to many people, causes sadness and regret for others, and to some, is just another sunday. The fact of the matter is; we are all the result of a mother. Love her, or hate her, you are all here today because you have a mother. I am pretty lucky, because my mother is awesome, like, 'Store bought cheese is for squares. I am making my own cheese!' awesome. I'm pretty sure she gets the awesome from my grandmother, who is pretty much the best person I know.  I myself have earned to title of 'mom' and, if you know me, you know that I love it. (and if you didn't know before, now you do)
      I have always been fascinated with being a mom, but not just the basics of being a mom, though that is where it began. The stereotypical, feeding, washing, and rocking babies that I was so obsessed with as a small child.

And this. This is not my doll, but is essentially identical to the
one I owned. Her name was Mary Nicole and you could not convince me
that she WASN'T my baby...

As I got older, I became aware of 'the mechanics' so to speak, of being a mother. I remember being about five or six years old and hearing some neighbor lady spell out the word 'Sex' in hushed tones, which I thought strange, because a) I knew how to read, and b)  she could have said it aloud and the word itself would have meant nothing to me. I finally asked my parents and got the quintessential "talk" that satisfied me for the moment. It turned out to be the first in a series of "talks" that educated me based on my level of understanding at whatever age I was at the time. Being the strange child that I was, I found it all incredibly fascinating. I was the kid who took out books in the library that detailed all the internal anatomy and other things involving "puberty"(Is it just me or does the word itself sound weird and gross to anyone else? Say it out loud and think about it...). And while I knew the biological reasons behind them, some things ('nocturnal emissions' anyone?) still kinda freaked me out. 
           I could take time here to detail the 'emotional' aspect of my growth as an adolescent, and the contributions it had to my ultimately becoming a mother, but it includes a first kiss story that involves a fifteen year old me, in the bedroom of a seventeen year old, who had star wars sheets on his bed, and nobody really wants to hear about that...
     When I was married, and pregnant with my first child, I was working at a bookstore/coffee shop, and spent a good deal of my down time in the health section of the book department, reading about pregnancy, and specifically, what can go wrong. I don't recommend this as it can be  terrifying. Seriously, I dare you to google 'Molar Pregnancy' and not be at least a little bit freaked out.
 When it came time to evict my husband's and my little genetic mash up, I went in confident that I knew what to expect, and was pleasantly surprised that I was right: It hurt like a &#*@!&@%$*!$ and I came out of it with a cute little baby!
   Nearly four years later I have two of 'em, and eventually, would like more. And, as mothers day rolls around again, I am forced to reflect not only on all the 'mothers' in my life, (my own, and all the people I know who are mothers) but my role as 'mother' to my own offspring. I really do hope I am doing at the very least an 'adequate' job. I mean....my kids seem happy enough......

I am gonna go wash the peanut butter out of my daughter's hair now.

Happy Mothers day Everyone!