Friday, October 26, 2012

Rule #1: Cardio.

With the upcoming presidential elections looming ever closer, we as a nation have been taking a lot of time scrutinizing the issues at hand; the economy, foreign policies, immigration, the middle east, gay marriage, and for some reason Sesame Street is now an important factor in determining who to vote for....
     Facebook has become a veritable battle ground for would-be political debaters. I personally find that keeping my opinion off of facebook helps me to maintain my ever-dwindling sanity (not to mention many of my friends).  However, I have noticed in the past few months that a very important issue has been blatantly, if not purposely, ignored. I for one find myself VERY concerned with this particular topic and would repeal my personal rule to keep political opinions off of facebook in order to discuss the ever growing threat to ALL political parties. If we are to be a nation OF the people, well then we all need to be concerned with raising awareness for......


ZOMBIES.

Yes, the growing zombie threat is one that our country's leaders are ignoring to our GREAT detriment. I believe that the zombie apocalypse is closer at hand than any of us would like to think about and the time has come to draw awareness to this issue and prepare ourselves accordingly!

Lets look at the facts:

1.) Zombies are dead, and gross, and scary.

2.) A Zombie's only desire is to kill you and eat your brain and/or infect you (though, on second thought they probably don't really have 'desires' being zombies and all)

3.) Zombies probably smell really bad (you know, because of the whole 'dead' thing).

4.) According to a handful of zombie movies (or as I like to call them, 'Important study materials') zombies might be able to run, which quite frankly, is scary as %$*#.

And finally,


There are many important measures that ought to be taken into consideration by ALL citizens of the United States who do not wish to become zombies, or zombie food. I will support any candidate who can appropriately present a platform that will help this country prepare for the impending zombie apocalypse. 

I feel that this is TRULY an important issue and I want to see it addressed ASAP!

Also I am pretty sure the majority of Congress are already zombies.

1 comment: