a 'purpose' for vanity?

I have seen a lot of memes and blogs and stories on the interwebs lately regarding 'selfies' (I even wrote one a few months ago!) The thing is, I get as irritated at the number of gratuitous selfies as the next guy, but it has led me to ponder the "why" of it. Why do we girls (yes I group myself among the number, even though I 'try' not to overdo it) take so many pictures of ourselves?
While I cannot speak for all girls, I can speak for myself:
 I like the way I look when I have done my hair and make up and I like to document it for my own, personal self esteem boost. Especially when I know what I look like without said effort being put into my outward appearance. Now, before I go any further, I AM going to give photographic evidence of this.

WARNING: These are NOT photographic evidence of the impending zombie apocalypse. It is just me first thing in the morning. Please return your rifles, chainsaws and pitchforks to their original, easy to access areas for when the actual zombie apocalypse occurs. 


So I decided when I was about to get ready to go out today that I would do my own little "study" on 'selfies'

Here is what I discovered:

Before: "Are you feeling alright? You sick?
Tired?"

After: 'Normality'

I even made sure I had the same, blank expresson! 

To be fair I tried the "Everyone frowns in the 'before' pic to make sure the 'after' looks even better"

And, well.....this:

Before: Abject misery.

After:  OMG guys #poutyface!!

I even  tried legitimately smiling to see if that would improve it!

Nope. 

Yep.

So there it is. We take selfies when we feel like we look good......Or, at least I do.

Grab Bag.

I try not to write unless I feel like it is something at least moderately interesting, but I also try to keep  my readers "updated"on what trivial things are going on with me since I am pretty sure that the majority of my 4 followers are only doing so because they are related to me and feel begrudgingly obligated (Hi Mom!)
As a result, today you are left with a veritable 'halloween candy style' assortment of 'fun size' subjects all fit into one post!

On: Being a Human Incubator (pregnant)
So my last post was almost two months ago (I know, I know I am getting LAAAAAZZZZZYYYY) and it seems appropriate to update on that business.
I've done the 'pregnant' thing before twice already. Don't get me wrong, I am not going to say that it isn't worth it or anything, but there is something very different about being pregnant for the first time, and subsequent pregnancies. The first time is always sort of special and exciting, despite mostly feeling weird and gross. For me the first pregnancy was like, "Oh man will I ever stop feeling dizzy and queasy and exhausted? But hey there is a PERSON growing inside of me!! And will food stop sounding like death...WAIT I need a chili dog RIGHT NOW....nope it passed you can eat it....but go do it in the other room the smell is making me gag....Oh HEY I totally can feel my uterus now....my baby is GROWING! Wait, WHO is the invisible person stabbing me in the lower back with invisible steak knives?? BABY!!!" etc, etc... Despite all the discomfort, the novelty won out.
The second pregnancy was a little different, but just in that the nausea part was actually worse. I guess I am lucky that I didn't spend a whole lot of time throwing up (very little actually) but I FELT like it most of the time, leading me to seek out a remedy and learning that a unisom combined with a vitamin b6 at bedtime kept it under control.
This time I feel more like, "yeah I am all for a new baby, but is it really necessary to feel gross like this EVERY day? OMG Andy and Aubrey stop doing EVERYTHING and sit still for a few hours! LETHARGY!!!!! Ugh, Oh yeah I remember now, my hips and sciatic nerve hate it when my uterus does it's job.... Crap....I've gotta pee again, YES again!...Wait for me guys, the 'waddle' has nothing to do with my growing fatness, my hips are falling off!.... Jeez, this is not a comfortable way to live...I need some chocolate."

Also, after nearly three years of spending lots of time getting into, and keeping myself in decent shape, I get to watch myself get fatter again....fun.

Excuse my expression. Trying on clothes does not bring out the best in me just now...

.....Except when I am pretending not to be fat.                         Ha! J/K.....still getting fatter.



















One positive thing to come out of all of the yucky weight gain, (you know, other than the cute, new baby I get at the end of it) is that my boobs are looking AMAZING these days.

On: Part Time Single Momming.
When you are married to a pilot, you accustom yourself to being left for periods of time while said pilot goes out on trips. I have been doing that quite a bit this year. (It's the primary reason I quit waitressing)  Its really okay because I know that Rob is happy pursuing his career of choice. I also get to have  several days at a time with him once he gets home which I really try not to take for granted, because it is awesome to have him home with me, and also, he does the dishes when he is home.
However, when Rob does have to leave for days at a time, it leaves me spending the majority of my time with two very small (albeit adorable) people as my primary companions. For me, this means questions All. Day. Long.

Some are reasonable: "Mommy, where is daddy?", "Mommy, can I have a go-gurt?", "Mommy, what day is it today?", "Mommy, can we watch 'Wreck it Ralph'?" "Mommy, where is the baby now?" I like those questions, easy to answer and send them back to whatever they were doing.

Some are a little more complicated: "Mommy, how big is the baby now?", "Mommy, What color happens if I mix orange with purple?"  "Mommy, how is the baby going to get out?" "Mommy we don't want to sleep in our beds, can we 'snuggle' with you?" "Mommy, what means 'ridiculous'?"

Some, I am convinced, are concocted simply to annoy me and test my meager, pregnant, patience: "Mommy, what means 'not right now'?", "Mommy, what is a *unintelligible string of consonants resulting in some made up word*?", "Mommy, do you wanna hear a funny joke??" (this is usually followed up by a ridiculous knock knock joke that involves a 'banana door'.)

 I mean, it IS a pretty good life with these two.

 On: Home school and Halloween.

For many years I have known that I was going to home school my kids. I'm not going to go into all my reasoning behind it, that is a blog post in itself! Fact is, Andrew is Kindergarten aged this year so it was time to get started. I am lucky that I have my mom (who has been homeschooling for 23 years) as a resource, or I may not have gone through with it!
It has been super fun watching him learn and seeing what he already knows (and I therefore don't have to teach him)
Also, I so enjoy cutting and pasting....

Andy told me when we made these that mine was, "Not very good"
...he even wrote a big X on the lower corner later that day.

Halloween this year was a source of enjoyment for all of us as well this year. Back at the beginning of the year when we bought the kids the movie "Wreck it Ralph" Andrew decided right away that he WAS in fact "Fix it Felix Jr." and insisted that we address him as such for a while. It just worked out that Aubrey is comparatively the proper size to be Vanellope, so he decided that is who SHE was. Of course that left his daddy to be the 'giant' Ralph. Back in about August we decided that we absolutely must be the characters from Wreck it Ralph for halloween this year!  We had always talked about doing a "family group theme" costume. The only problem at this point was what my costume would be. I HAD initially considered dressing as Calhoun, but the idea of a fitted, armoured bodysuit, on my burgeoning midsection, was laughable at best.

 I decided to do something simple and not as "costume-y" so the attention wouldn't be drawn to my more or less frumpy frame just now. Then I had to go find costumes for my kids. Starting in right after the "back to school" things are pulled from the shelves, the stores start setting up the "seasonal" sections that include Halloween decor and cheaply made, pre-packaged costumes and masks. You see lots of Super Mario's, Disney Princesses and whatever Marvel superhero is most recently seen in theaters. (I guess this year's favorites were iron man and thor.) Also there are usually a fair amount of animated character costumes from the past year  represented. You wanna know which kids movie was NOT represented in pre-made costumes this year, AT ALL!?!? Wreck it Ralph!! Not a SINGLE item that could at ALL be used as a character costume from that movie! I had to start from scratch. I searched through multiple goodwill stores, Wal mart, Target and a Michaels craft store to get all the elements for all the costumes I ended up putting together, which included a zombie wig that I had to spray red for 'Ralph's' hair,  white tights that I hand painted to look correct for Vanellope, the "cookie Medal" for Ralph, the 'FF' logo for Felix's hat, a little tool belt, and gold spray paint for Felix's magic hammer.

To answer your questions; I am a
pudgy,  video game player.

This was the better looking group by far.

All in all I think it turned out really great, (but I am more than a little biased, since I did all the work.)

He had been practicing this pose for MONTHS!

"Who doesn't love a brat with dirty hair?!"

I even sprayed my two year olds hair black.
THAT is how dedicated I am to a costume!

I had to at least give myself a "halloween" manicure.
That is a candy corn on my middle finger, couldn't you tell?

So...this happened.

I know I haven't been writing much lately. You don't need to remind me, I am aware. There is a reason.
Minds have been inquiring and a few clever pinterest stalkers followers have played detective and put two and two together.
  My family has been given the heads up, but other than that I have been keeping a lot of things to myself. It's fun having secrets sometimes.
BUT, I think, we are well enough into it that I can "go public" as it were. So, this happened:

Awww, cute, right?  No, the head os that blobby part
on the left side...yes, I'm sure.

Look, I was nice enough to keep the part that I peed on
OUT of the picture, okay!

So, yes, to all the hushed, tentative questions, and gestures towards my bloated abdomen, Yes. I am pregnant....again.
That means we will have three kids. Three. I am aware that puts us outnumbered by our offspring, and I will admit it has me moderately apprehensive. However, we are in it now, and if I am really questioned I will admit that I wanted it this way. I have a nice little handful of brothers and sisters and even Robert has three other siblings. I wouldn't want to deny my own kids the best friends they could ever have. So we embarked on a third child and sometime late next March the adults in the house will become the minority.
 This is probably the longest I have ever kept the information to myself. I all but shouted it from the rooftops when I found out I was expecting Andrew, and I didn't wait very long with Aubrey either. This time however, I figured since it's the third, it isn't exactly the headline news that a 'first baby' is. I am nearly 12 weeks into it.
Not that I'm not excited, I am. I am very excited to have a teeny baby again. Right now though, I am more excited to feel 'good' again. The whole 'feeling queasy and exhausted and spacey all the time' thing, is old. I have said it before and I'll say it again: I Hate the first trimester. I hate everything about it. I hate feeling pregnant but not looking like it, so people look at you like you are an idiot when you hold back a gag during food commercials or at the grocery store.
 Anyways, I have determined a few things so far this pregnancy:

• I don't think I want to have more than four kids. I think my patience can deal with this stuff MAYBE one more time, and that's about it.
• I am not really sure how I worked through my last two pregnancies. I know I felt like this before, but getting up and going to work feeling like this? Geez I was insane or something!
• Being at any stage of a pregnancy during a Texas summer makes me viciously hateful towards the season, to the point that even television commercials that mention 'summertime' in a positive manner, cause me to throw things at the t.v. NO I have NOT waited all year for it!!! Quit telling me that I have!!
• My husband is pretty much the best person in the world. When he is home, he caters to me like a freaking personal assistant! I am thinking that a made a good spousal selection.

I decided to go ahead and wait to "announce" this time until I had seen a doctor and all that stuff, and I did that yesterday so now you all get to know!

Doctors office selfie!!! iPhones make waiting
in a paper sheet less boring.

Waiting for my new dr. made me realize just
how badly I need a pedicure.

So most of my posts and facebook status's will involve pregnant and baby stuff for a little while (sorry, not sorry)
I can't tell you how much I wanted to complain about how randomly throwing up at a friends bar-b-que just about killed my labor day.

There is a nice little bruise there now. They
took like 7 vials of blood for testing!!

One more thing; apparently there is a new test that has come about since I was last pregnant. I don't have to wait till the 18 week ultrasound to find out the gender! There is a blood test that they do and I should get the results in about three weeks. Oh the coolness of modern medicine!
So I will leave you all with this:

Enjoy this: the first of many profile 'preggo pics'!
I personally just feel bloated and out of shape
but I revel in having the excuse!

                                                                               

Summertime loathing.

It's been a while, and I am sure you are all dying to know what wild and exciting things are going on in my life this summer!
Well, I'll tell ya something, there is nothing, not a thing because....
 I. Hate. Summer.
There, it's out there now. The season so beloved by people of all ages is detested by me.
"Why Corinne, how can you hate summertime??" you might ask.
Well, I'll tell ya

1. It's hot (Southeast Texas heat ya'll)

2. It's humid.

3. It takes forever.

4. It's HOT.

5. The kids are out of school and walk around town like they own the dang place.

6. IT'S HOT GUYS!

7. Bathing suits.

8. Shorts that aren't but I have to wear them anyways.

9. The sorry excuses for shorts that teenage girls wear.

10. Having to wear my hair in a ponytail all the time to keep it up so I don't suffocate under the weight of my own tresses.

11. OMG this sticky, humid heat is UNBEARABLE!!!

Living in southeast Texas for me is an exercise in yearly torture endurance. I mean, I didn't mind summertime when I was a kid, in fact I kind of liked it. The difference is that when I was a kid I was living in places like Virginia  or California or even Memphis Tennessee, all of which have hot summers but not the blinding, sun-fed sauna the likes of which I currently reside in.

I think the biggest problem for me is the time frame. Most NORMAL places have a standard four season set up:

                      Spring = 3 months

                   Summer = 3 months

                     Autumn = 3 months

                      Winter = 3 months

That's fine, in fact I'd LOVE it if it would be that. But no. It isn't.

In my reality it's more like this:

Spring = 2 months

Summer = 5-6 months

Late summer/"Autumn" = 3-4 months

Winter-ish = approx. 15 days

Waiting out the summer months is simply awful. When it starts feeling like summer in early May, I am over it all by the end of June. 

We are now at the beginning of August, which in Texas terms is the worst month in terms of the unbearable heat and sticky humidity. When I  break a sweat walking from my car the the entrance of Target, I'm done. When I have to do that almost suffocating thing in my 125 degree car while I'm waiting for the A/C to do it's thing, I'm done. I am unequivocally DONE with summer. I'm over it. Finished.

Come on October!!!

                                        

Narcissistically speaking.

   Friends, I have a confession to make. Undoubtedly one of many I will publish here, in attempt to soothe my burdened conscience.

   Here it is:

I want people to think I am pretty, but not conceited.

I have spent most of my life so worried that people will find me 'full of myself' that I tend to lean more towards the realm of self disparagement. However, I have to be careful not to be SO self deprecating that people think I am just another shallow, little girl begging for attention. Especially since I am nearly *gulp* 28 years old....

   I spend way too much time trying to balance a desire to have my attractiveness level validated, with my need to appear humble. (and for those of you who live in southeast Texas: the 'H' in that word needs to be pronounced people!)

Nothing challenges this confliction more than the concept of "selfies".

See, here is the thing; I know I have the potential to look attractive, I do. It takes some mild to moderate effort, depending on the day, but it is there. I can be pretty if I want to be. On the days that said effort is put into effect however, the struggle is exacerbated. 

"Should I take a picture of myself to document, and seek validation that I am indeed, pretty today?"

       This happened just the other day.

I went to the salon and had my split ends trimmed, my layers fixed and so forth. I was happy with the result so I decided to take a picture to have with me to my next trip to the salon so it can be replicated. 

 This is where the problems began. 

I spent an hour and a half doing my hair and makeup put forth some effort to exemplify my appearance, and decided upon looking in the mirror that my reflection was worthy to submit to my various social media's. 

  I then embarked upon the picture taking process. This challenged my self consciousness further, and sparked a very contentious (and almost violent) conversation with myself:

"Okay, lets get started. I'll go with a basic, pleasant look"

"Meh, nice, but looks forced. Try again"

"Alright maybe just a standard 'smile'?"

"Bloody hell, NO!! Too much! You look creepy! Seriously, you look like you are about to kill someone with a hatchet!"

"Geez, okay!  I'll pull it back, maybe turn to the side a bit?"

"I mean...it's not bad, but maybe if you only post the standard 'head and shoulders' views people will think you are using close ups to hide a disgusting body?"

 "*sigh*, okay well I can try to get more of me in the shot..."

"Oh great, lets just perpetuate the tacky "bathroom mirror" shot and include ALL the junk on your counter! You can't even see your face very well..."

"...fine, I'll go to a different room."

"You look mad"

 "Well yeah! You keep criticizing me! 

Better?!"

"What, did you just roll out of bed? get your hair out of your face!"

 "....BETTER?"

"OH MY GOSH! You are impossible! It's TOO MUCH! no one needs to see THAT much forehead! And get that condescending smirk off your face!"

" *sigh* ...Getting real tired of your s*** ego..."

"...I'm not even going to start in on all that is wrong with this one. Try again..."

"GAH! This is taking forever! One more try and then I give up!"

"Ahh! Okay see, this works! Now just put an instagram filter on it"

"....Okay, are we good to go?"

"Yep, post it! Now all you have to do is hope that no one calls you out on your own self serving, egocentrism."

"...Thanks for that."

"No problem."

The not-so-subtle way to vehicular upgrade.

So, once upon a time, I had a 2006 Chrysler PT Cruiser in Marine blue. It wasn't anything special. It didn't have air conditioning for the first two years I owned it. Indeed I suffered much disparagement from several of my friends (mostly male car enthusiasts. You know who you are.) but it was MINE and it got me where I needed to go.
It looked like this:

Pulled this photo from the interwebs. I honestly wasn't fond enough of
my car to take pictures of it while it was still intact. 

Now it looks like this:

In a word: Wrecked.

Crunched up. Sad. Lifeless.

The bottom line is that driving in a storm on FM 1960, with a car that doesn't have the tightest brakes, doesn't mix well with blue pickup drivers who stop too fast at yellow lights.

The craziest part was when I finally got over the shock of an airbag exploding in my face, and got out of my car (climbing out through the back door since the front doors wouldn't open) and went to inspect the damage, the driver I hit was GONE!!
He totally drove off! The driver in front of him that he bumped, chased him down! The whole day was a mess and I don't care to think much about it. I was shaken up, but got away with only mild scrapes from the airbag deployment and a bit of a sore neck. The kids were thankfully, completely unscathed!

What was REALLY frustrating was the prospect of not having a car of my own anymore. Especially since I was pretty sure, even then, that it was a total loss.

FINE! Whatever! I totally wanted a new car ANYWAYS!

{It is at this point that I really need to give a shout out to USAA. We are insured through them and I have to say, everything AFTER the wreck went perfectly smooth! They set me up with a rental car immediately and set about working on the claim. If you are eligible for USAA, whether by former military service, or having a family member who served, I HIGHLY recommend them. We have fantastic coverage and a lower premium than any other company can offer, plus they are all really nice and helpful!}

After determining that the car was INDEED a total loss, we determined it was time to go car shopping! Once again USAA hooked us up with everything we needed to go about purchasing a NEW CAR!!

...Okay it's not "new"(certified pre-owned) but it is new to me!!!

MY 2012 Chevy Cruze!

mandatory 'car pose' pic (Rob's idea.)

This is the first car I have ever owned, that I feel a little sense of pride driving. For one its the 'newest' I have driven, and I actually had a hand in selecting it! I kind of, sort of, really love it.

Now I have the task of naming it and finding decent replacements for my good car seats that I  had to trash after the wreck.

A few things.

Well boys and girls, its been a rather significant amount of time since I have posted anything. I am absolutely positive that no one cares but, I am BACK to my blog!

SO, as you might imagine some THINGS have occurred in the seven months since I've posted. Also some STUFF and EVENTS have transpired!
Are you on the edges of your seats?
You should be.

These are some highlights of some things you might have missed (and some things I almost missed):

• I worked at Chili's. A lot. 
• I didn't sleep much during the night.
• I did most of my sleeping between breakfast and lunchtime.
• (did I mention I am an insomniac? And working nights at a restaurant made it worse?)
• Some HOLIDAYS happened!
  
• My kids were themselves

  

  which in this case means stealing my phone and taking 327 selfies.

• I was in a PLAY guys! Both of my sisters and I got to be in Seussical the musical, and I was the most AWESOME piece of living scenery(Ensemble) EVAH!!!!

Right?!?!

• I discovered my life had become a chaotic mixture of work/parenting/play/holidays/attempted sleep/hair ripping.
• I learned that Rob was being given a new route to fly that would require him to be gone several days a week.
• I quit Chili's.
• Now I get to once again revel in the life of a stay at home mom and do exhilarating things like: Laundry, and Mopping, and Organizing my closet!!! (I can hardly STAND the excitement!!

So, with my time freed up as such, you should all look to see more frequent posts from me. 

Awesome, right.........?