Summertime loathing.

It's been a while, and I am sure you are all dying to know what wild and exciting things are going on in my life this summer!
Well, I'll tell ya something, there is nothing, not a thing because....
 I. Hate. Summer.
There, it's out there now. The season so beloved by people of all ages is detested by me.
"Why Corinne, how can you hate summertime??" you might ask.
Well, I'll tell ya

1. It's hot (Southeast Texas heat ya'll)

2. It's humid.

3. It takes forever.

4. It's HOT.

5. The kids are out of school and walk around town like they own the dang place.

6. IT'S HOT GUYS!

7. Bathing suits.

8. Shorts that aren't but I have to wear them anyways.

9. The sorry excuses for shorts that teenage girls wear.

10. Having to wear my hair in a ponytail all the time to keep it up so I don't suffocate under the weight of my own tresses.

11. OMG this sticky, humid heat is UNBEARABLE!!!

Living in southeast Texas for me is an exercise in yearly torture endurance. I mean, I didn't mind summertime when I was a kid, in fact I kind of liked it. The difference is that when I was a kid I was living in places like Virginia  or California or even Memphis Tennessee, all of which have hot summers but not the blinding, sun-fed sauna the likes of which I currently reside in.

I think the biggest problem for me is the time frame. Most NORMAL places have a standard four season set up:

                      Spring = 3 months

                   Summer = 3 months

                     Autumn = 3 months

                      Winter = 3 months

That's fine, in fact I'd LOVE it if it would be that. But no. It isn't.

In my reality it's more like this:

Spring = 2 months

Summer = 5-6 months

Late summer/"Autumn" = 3-4 months

Winter-ish = approx. 15 days

Waiting out the summer months is simply awful. When it starts feeling like summer in early May, I am over it all by the end of June. 

We are now at the beginning of August, which in Texas terms is the worst month in terms of the unbearable heat and sticky humidity. When I  break a sweat walking from my car the the entrance of Target, I'm done. When I have to do that almost suffocating thing in my 125 degree car while I'm waiting for the A/C to do it's thing, I'm done. I am unequivocally DONE with summer. I'm over it. Finished.

Come on October!!!

                                        

Narcissistically speaking.

   Friends, I have a confession to make. Undoubtedly one of many I will publish here, in attempt to soothe my burdened conscience.

   Here it is:

I want people to think I am pretty, but not conceited.

I have spent most of my life so worried that people will find me 'full of myself' that I tend to lean more towards the realm of self disparagement. However, I have to be careful not to be SO self deprecating that people think I am just another shallow, little girl begging for attention. Especially since I am nearly *gulp* 28 years old....

   I spend way too much time trying to balance a desire to have my attractiveness level validated, with my need to appear humble. (and for those of you who live in southeast Texas: the 'H' in that word needs to be pronounced people!)

Nothing challenges this confliction more than the concept of "selfies".

See, here is the thing; I know I have the potential to look attractive, I do. It takes some mild to moderate effort, depending on the day, but it is there. I can be pretty if I want to be. On the days that said effort is put into effect however, the struggle is exacerbated. 

"Should I take a picture of myself to document, and seek validation that I am indeed, pretty today?"

       This happened just the other day.

I went to the salon and had my split ends trimmed, my layers fixed and so forth. I was happy with the result so I decided to take a picture to have with me to my next trip to the salon so it can be replicated. 

 This is where the problems began. 

I spent an hour and a half doing my hair and makeup put forth some effort to exemplify my appearance, and decided upon looking in the mirror that my reflection was worthy to submit to my various social media's. 

  I then embarked upon the picture taking process. This challenged my self consciousness further, and sparked a very contentious (and almost violent) conversation with myself:

"Okay, lets get started. I'll go with a basic, pleasant look"

"Meh, nice, but looks forced. Try again"

"Alright maybe just a standard 'smile'?"

"Bloody hell, NO!! Too much! You look creepy! Seriously, you look like you are about to kill someone with a hatchet!"

"Geez, okay!  I'll pull it back, maybe turn to the side a bit?"

"I mean...it's not bad, but maybe if you only post the standard 'head and shoulders' views people will think you are using close ups to hide a disgusting body?"

 "*sigh*, okay well I can try to get more of me in the shot..."

"Oh great, lets just perpetuate the tacky "bathroom mirror" shot and include ALL the junk on your counter! You can't even see your face very well..."

"...fine, I'll go to a different room."

"You look mad"

 "Well yeah! You keep criticizing me! 

Better?!"

"What, did you just roll out of bed? get your hair out of your face!"

 "....BETTER?"

"OH MY GOSH! You are impossible! It's TOO MUCH! no one needs to see THAT much forehead! And get that condescending smirk off your face!"

" *sigh* ...Getting real tired of your s*** ego..."

"...I'm not even going to start in on all that is wrong with this one. Try again..."

"GAH! This is taking forever! One more try and then I give up!"

"Ahh! Okay see, this works! Now just put an instagram filter on it"

"....Okay, are we good to go?"

"Yep, post it! Now all you have to do is hope that no one calls you out on your own self serving, egocentrism."

"...Thanks for that."

"No problem."

The not-so-subtle way to vehicular upgrade.

So, once upon a time, I had a 2006 Chrysler PT Cruiser in Marine blue. It wasn't anything special. It didn't have air conditioning for the first two years I owned it. Indeed I suffered much disparagement from several of my friends (mostly male car enthusiasts. You know who you are.) but it was MINE and it got me where I needed to go.
It looked like this:

Pulled this photo from the interwebs. I honestly wasn't fond enough of
my car to take pictures of it while it was still intact. 

Now it looks like this:

In a word: Wrecked.

Crunched up. Sad. Lifeless.

The bottom line is that driving in a storm on FM 1960, with a car that doesn't have the tightest brakes, doesn't mix well with blue pickup drivers who stop too fast at yellow lights.

The craziest part was when I finally got over the shock of an airbag exploding in my face, and got out of my car (climbing out through the back door since the front doors wouldn't open) and went to inspect the damage, the driver I hit was GONE!!
He totally drove off! The driver in front of him that he bumped, chased him down! The whole day was a mess and I don't care to think much about it. I was shaken up, but got away with only mild scrapes from the airbag deployment and a bit of a sore neck. The kids were thankfully, completely unscathed!

What was REALLY frustrating was the prospect of not having a car of my own anymore. Especially since I was pretty sure, even then, that it was a total loss.

FINE! Whatever! I totally wanted a new car ANYWAYS!

{It is at this point that I really need to give a shout out to USAA. We are insured through them and I have to say, everything AFTER the wreck went perfectly smooth! They set me up with a rental car immediately and set about working on the claim. If you are eligible for USAA, whether by former military service, or having a family member who served, I HIGHLY recommend them. We have fantastic coverage and a lower premium than any other company can offer, plus they are all really nice and helpful!}

After determining that the car was INDEED a total loss, we determined it was time to go car shopping! Once again USAA hooked us up with everything we needed to go about purchasing a NEW CAR!!

...Okay it's not "new"(certified pre-owned) but it is new to me!!!

MY 2012 Chevy Cruze!

mandatory 'car pose' pic (Rob's idea.)

This is the first car I have ever owned, that I feel a little sense of pride driving. For one its the 'newest' I have driven, and I actually had a hand in selecting it! I kind of, sort of, really love it.

Now I have the task of naming it and finding decent replacements for my good car seats that I  had to trash after the wreck.

A few things.

Well boys and girls, its been a rather significant amount of time since I have posted anything. I am absolutely positive that no one cares but, I am BACK to my blog!

SO, as you might imagine some THINGS have occurred in the seven months since I've posted. Also some STUFF and EVENTS have transpired!
Are you on the edges of your seats?
You should be.

These are some highlights of some things you might have missed (and some things I almost missed):

• I worked at Chili's. A lot. 
• I didn't sleep much during the night.
• I did most of my sleeping between breakfast and lunchtime.
• (did I mention I am an insomniac? And working nights at a restaurant made it worse?)
• Some HOLIDAYS happened!
  
• My kids were themselves

  

  which in this case means stealing my phone and taking 327 selfies.

• I was in a PLAY guys! Both of my sisters and I got to be in Seussical the musical, and I was the most AWESOME piece of living scenery(Ensemble) EVAH!!!!

Right?!?!

• I discovered my life had become a chaotic mixture of work/parenting/play/holidays/attempted sleep/hair ripping.
• I learned that Rob was being given a new route to fly that would require him to be gone several days a week.
• I quit Chili's.
• Now I get to once again revel in the life of a stay at home mom and do exhilarating things like: Laundry, and Mopping, and Organizing my closet!!! (I can hardly STAND the excitement!!

So, with my time freed up as such, you should all look to see more frequent posts from me. 

Awesome, right.........?

Rule #1: Cardio.

With the upcoming presidential elections looming ever closer, we as a nation have been taking a lot of time scrutinizing the issues at hand; the economy, foreign policies, immigration, the middle east, gay marriage, and for some reason Sesame Street is now an important factor in determining who to vote for....
     Facebook has become a veritable battle ground for would-be political debaters. I personally find that keeping my opinion off of facebook helps me to maintain my ever-dwindling sanity (not to mention many of my friends).  However, I have noticed in the past few months that a very important issue has been blatantly, if not purposely, ignored. I for one find myself VERY concerned with this particular topic and would repeal my personal rule to keep political opinions off of facebook in order to discuss the ever growing threat to ALL political parties. If we are to be a nation OF the people, well then we all need to be concerned with raising awareness for......

ZOMBIES.

Yes, the growing zombie threat is one that our country's leaders are ignoring to our GREAT detriment. I believe that the zombie apocalypse is closer at hand than any of us would like to think about and the time has come to draw awareness to this issue and prepare ourselves accordingly!

Lets look at the facts:

1.) Zombies are dead, and gross, and scary.

2.) A Zombie's only desire is to kill you and eat your brain and/or infect you (though, on second thought they probably don't really have 'desires' being zombies and all)

3.) Zombies probably smell really bad (you know, because of the whole 'dead' thing).

4.) According to a handful of zombie movies (or as I like to call them, 'Important study materials') zombies might be able to run, which quite frankly, is scary as %$*#.

And finally,

5.)  This article.

There are many important measures that ought to be taken into consideration by ALL citizens of the United States who do not wish to become zombies, or zombie food. I will support any candidate who can appropriately present a platform that will help this country prepare for the impending zombie apocalypse. 

I feel that this is TRULY an important issue and I want to see it addressed ASAP!

Also I am pretty sure the majority of Congress are already zombies.

Working Girl.

 It is now October  and I haven't updated since the end of May. I think that may be a manifestation of my deep and abiding hatred of Summer.
Okay, I don't hate ALL of it, just most of it, like 98% of it. The time between June and October seems unnecessary to me . Sure it's broken up by a couple of sporadically 'fun' days; Independence day is alright with the barbecue and fireworks, Andrew's birthday on July 23rd (He is FOUR now!!), and I like swimming before the pools start feeling like bathtubs but that's really it. Because 'summer' really starts in late April/early May in southeast Texas and summer in southeast Texas means constant heat and humidity, and I am over it by June.
Anyways, My summer so far:
                    1.)  Apparently I am addicted. To running. All the time. I find myself unbalanced and off if I don't. I never had this issue before, indeed I used to HATE running and now, well now I need it. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever, because I DO hate the summer, and the heat but somehow I still find myself running in it for five miles every day and do in fact feel really good afterwords. I guess there are worse things to be addicted to.
                   2.) My kids are awesome.

Do I really need to elaborate further?

                     3.) I acquired employment. Yep, I got a job. My 'official' title is "foodserver" at Chili's. All I really do though, is ask people which kind of baby-back ribs they want, or which kind of Chicken crispers they want.

Admit it though; despite the generic "bathroom-pic"
quality, you'd still want me to take your order ;)

That's pretty much it for my summer.

No really, it was THAT boring. Sorry I don't have more to tell but between learning the difference between a 'presidente margarita' and a 'PLATINUM presidente margarita' (one is more expensive)  and trying to avoid eating all the tostada chips I didn't do much. Now that it's officially autumn though (YAY!!!) I should have more motivation to blog stuff!

 If not, there are always about 350 pictures of my kids on my iPhone!

        

Are you not ENTERTAINED???

Corinne: Hey baby, come look at this!

Rob: What is it?

Corinne: Look at the rug! Do you see the spider?

Rob: Yeah, you want me to kill it?

Corinne: Not yet, look! It's stalking that fly!

(There is a fly just sitting on the rug a fair distance away from the spider)

Rob: Oh cool!

Corinne: There is no way it will get it though, its like two feet away and the fly can like, fly you know? holy cow, its still going! It's closing the gap! DUDE! That fly is just SITTING there!

Rob: Oh man!

Corinne: I KNOW! 

(Spider jumps on fly and a struggle ensues)

Corinne: HOLY CRAP, he got it! Did you see that? He totally just pounced on it!

Rob: (moving to hover over the carnage) The fly is still struggling! 

Corinne: Get your phone out and take some pictures!

Rob: Oh yeah! (pulls out iPhone and takes LOTS of pictures and video)

Corinne: I feel like Caesar watching the gladiators in the ring! "Are we not entertained???"

Rob: Oh man, I can see the where the mandibles punctured it! This camera is awesome! The fly is still struggling!

Corinne: You know we are still killing the spider. I just think we should let him finish eating first though. Ya know, let him enjoy his last meal.