Some people.....

    People. Are. WEIRD! Yes, I include myself in this generalization, but I think I am downright, boring compared to some that I have come in contact with! Most of my adult life has been full of a myriad of different kinds of people. My father, at any given point in time, has some project going on that puts me in the path of some of these people. Also, until a couple of months ago, I worked at Hastings, a books/movies/music store with a coffee shop in it. I primarily worked in the Coffee shop and book dept. but, also spent some time as a cashier and a customer service manager. I could probably fill an entire book with some of the 'experiences' I have had dealing with people, but a few stick out in my mind;

The scene: Hastings, book department, the  phone rings, I am the only floor associate available to answer a call for video.

Corinne: Hello, thank you for holding, how may I help you?
Customer who lives under rock: Yes, I hope you CAN help me, I have a video question.
Corinne: I will do my very best, what is your question?
Lives under rock: Yes, ok. *pauses* do you know, anything about, *Pauses* Ok, it is a little round, plastic disc. You put it in a machine, and it plays movies through your television set. Do you know what I am talking about? It is kind of like this device called a 'VCR' that they used to have back in the 1980's. Do you have any idea what I am talking about??
Corinne:............ Sir, do you mean a DVD player?
Lives under rock: Is that the machine that you put those little, round, plastic, discs in?
Corinne: *stifling laughing fit* yes sir.
Lives under rock: and it plays movies on your television?
Corinne: *using every ounce of effort not to snort* yes, the discs are called DVD's and they play in a DVD player.
Lives under rock: Ok, do you know anything about it? I have all these video cassette's of my grandchildren, can I play them through this DVD machine?
 Corinne:*switching to 'talking to a child' mode* Yes sir, I am very familiar with DVD players, please do not try to play your video cassette's in a DVD player, it won't work.
Lives under rock: ok, well if I get one of these machine's, how am I supposed to play the video's I have of my grandchildren?
Corinne: *deep sigh* You can convert home videos to dvd format.
Lives under rock:..........how do I do that?
Corinne: You will probably have to buy a combination VHS/DVD player, that has a conversion function.
Lives under rock: do you sell those?
Corinne: let me check my computer *tappity tap tap TAP* no sir we only have a couple of regular dvd players. You will probably have to check Wal-Mart or Best Buy.
Lives under rock: ...Now if I go ahead and purchase one of these new machines how do I go about turning my videos into those plastic disc's?
Corinne:........you know what......go ahead and GO to Best Buy. They can walk you through it all IN PERSON. Don't call them, just go, straight to the store ok?
Lives under rock: Ok. I will. Thank you so much young lady!
Corinne: Not a problem sir, have a great day. *hangs up phone and bursts into loudly inappropriate laughter*

 A little over a year ago my dad decided to open a TEEN club. Now, I knew my dad liked to take on challenges, and I thought it was because he liked to be able to say that he never ran away from something that seemed too difficult. It wasn't until he decided to start 'da club' (as we affectionately refer to it) that I realized he must be a full blown masochist! We were seriously going to invite teenagers from all over the city of Huntsville to come and congregate at our club while we attempt to wrangle entertain them? Ooooookay Daddy.......... Fortunately it has turned out not to be TOO bad as far as the teens go (we consider ourselves VERY lucky!)
 Last night however I had an....interesting experience. Not with a teen, oh no, this was with grizzled, old, gray haired, bony, black, lady, with MAYBE three teeth in her entire head, and was dressed in clothes that she looked like she had been wearing for.......a while.

The scene: at the front counter of 'da club'
Grizzled old lady: *pokes head in front door* um, could I please use your phone? I need to call me a cab.
Corinne: yeah, sure *hesitant* what is the number, I will dial it for you, so you don't have to try and figure out my phone.
Grizzled old lady: um, ok *dictates phone number*
Corinne: *beep beeb boop beep* ok here, it's dialing
Grizzled old lady: what now? *looks at phone*
Corinne: its ringing, you might want to, you know...*mime's putting phone to ear*
Grizzled old lady: Oh *talking into phone, loudly* HELLO! YES, I NEED A CAB! YES, I NEED TO GO TO DA' HOSPITAL! UH HUH YEAH, RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OLD TOWN THEATRE! OK THANK YOU! *hands phone back* thank you, for letting me use your phone.
Corinne: No problem.
*about 10 minutes later*
Grizzled old lady: *walks in front door* Could I use your phone again? I need to call a ambulance.
Corinne:*slightly concerned/confused* umm yeah, is everything ok?
Grizzled old lady: *sounding completely fine* no, I'm pregnant and need to get to the hospital.
Corinne: *trying to calculate G.O.L's age (estimates around 80), and trying to figure the likelihood that she is ACTUALLY pregnant* ooookay, I guess just let me call 911 for you *dials* yes, hello my name is Corinne and I am at 1024 12th street.....yes a lady just walked in and asked me to call an ambulance for her...her emergency? Well, she said she is pregnant and needs an ambulance.....you know what, she is right here and coherant and everything why don't I let you talk to her.....*hands phone to G.O.L.*
Grizzled old lady: *loudly into phone* HELLO! YES, I AM PREGNANT AND HAVE BEEN OVER AT THE BUS STATION THROWING UP BLOOD AND I NEED TO GET TO THE HOSPITAL........YEAH....I AM 55.......YEAH WELL MY STOMACH HURTS REAL BAD.....YEAH *sirens in the background getting louder* OK, THEY HERE, BYE! *hands phone back*
Corinne: *sighing in relief*
Ambulance dudes:*getting out of ambulance and opening door to back*  Hey, so whats going on today.............
Grizzled old lady: *walks calmly over to ambulance and climbs in*
Ambulance dudes: *look confusedly towards Corinne*
Corinne: *shrugging shoulders and shaking head*
Ambulance dudes: *rolls eyes, drives off*

I will always wonder, several thing about that evening. Was G.O.L. REALLY pregnant?? was she REALLY 55?? Did ambulance dudes reward themselves with doughnuts after dropping G.O.L. at the hospital??

Ahhh people, can't live with them, can't help laughing when they do utterly ridiculous things!